I need some real, solid advice from some BTDT parents.
In G1's class there is a girl who's mother has called me a few times to tell me that G1 keeps doing things to her daughter. One time it was he kicked her in the face and slapped her. Today it was he pulled on the back of her zipped up coat and choked her. G1 admitted to kicking her, but not slapping her. And today he says he didn't pull on her coat, that she is lying. I'm not sure what to believe.
And then there have been a few times that G1 has come home and told me that he has gotten punched in the face by another boy in class. Today he said it was at recess and another boy from another class told the one that does the punching to do it. One day he came home with a bump and bruise on his forehead from getting punched.
I'm not sure what exactly I'm wanting to ask or what I'm expecting. But I don't know how to deal with any of it.
If G1 is doing these mean things to the girl how do I get him to tell me the truth. But what if he is telling the truth and not really doing these things. Today when the mom called she was not very nice about it. But what am I supposed to do when I don't know these things are going on? If G1 nor his teacher are telling me there is no way for me to know. G1 has only gotten in trouble twice for not keeping his hands to himself. I spoke with his teacher both days and neither time was this girl involved.
Then with this other boy that keeps punching, what do I do? I've heard from other parents that their children are getting punched by him as well.
I guess, if you were dealing with this what would you do? I feel like I'm failing in so many areas when it comes to being a "school mom." Matt said the best thing to me this morning. I told him I'm a horrible parent because I keep forgetting about G1's books that he needs to read every night. Matt said "We're new at this. We'll get better." That applies in so many areas and I know I need to keep reminding myself of that.
I know this doesn't seem like such a big deal to some, but it really is a big deal to us.
*I apologize that this is another one of my long rambling posts, but my brain is in so many places and I've been so stressed, this just adds to it.*
For one...this did NOT happen in your home. She should NOT be calling you at this stage of the 'game'. Second..if this mother has a problem with G1 then she needs to take it up with the teacher, then the teacher G1 and her child can try to resolve this problem at school meanwhile letting you both as parents know what has happened, who is saying what (who did what to who) and also let you know how they resolved this certain situation. Third..The only reason she should be calling you is to try to work on the situation together. As parents. As a team whose children are in the same class and maybe down the road can be in the same class again.
ReplyDeleteThese are kids. Babies really. They are learning, each and every day. If he is hurting her, he just hasn't learned to use his words the way he wants to yet. It is common. But he will learn. He probably isn't lying to you. If he is 'giving up' some of the bad behavior he won't withhold other bad behavior. Not saying it's not possible, but I severely doubt it =)And if this other child is making more of the situation, there is nothing you can do about it. That is for the other mother to deal with. You just worry about you and yours. Do not overanalyze, underestimate, or lose faith in your little one. YOU are the one that knows him best.
If this lady continues to call you and becomes agressive or makes you feel uneasy you need to politely ask her not to call you EVER again if she is going to act in this manner. Let her know that if she continues to do so you will have to have an authority figure step in. Do NOT let her bully you about this. It's ridiculous and a bit immature.
((hugss))
Sorry, I hope I didn't ramble on or sound crude. But I have dealt with teachers AND other parents for 12 years. And I am sad to say sometimes it can get ugly =( Keep your chin up and your head held high. Like your husband said, you are new and you WILL learn. Trust me!
~Stephanie~
(we met at M2M and I am kinda related to Marcia)
I would be on the phone with the teacher & principal asap! The more you can document your involvement with them the better. If this is happening at school it is a school problem and the problem needs to be solved there first before any outside action is taken. By contacting the school, teacher, principal you are showing that you are awared of what is going on (wether or not any of it's true or not) and are taking proper steps to handle it. I have many more thoughts, but not sure your blog is the place to air them. You can text me or call me tomorrow. I'd love to give you more insight. We've dealt with similar situations before, even when it was family friends.
ReplyDeletewow girlie...I totally know where you are coming from....it's so hard not to have any control. Have you gone into talk with the teacher. Might schedule an apt with the teacher so to show your seriousness in how you need to handle the situation. She may be able to provide you some input as to what is going on....also maybe you might want to see if you can surprise the playground with some visits. That's what I did...and it made a HUGE difference when I was able to go in and report what I saw going on! Good luck chicka!! it's a tough one! Kim M
ReplyDeleteMatt never seems to amaze me with his wisdom, but don't tell him I said that). It is hard enough for veteran parents to know the exact right thing to do let alone those going through it for the first time. All the others have given you great advise.
ReplyDelete