Life with the Gs: October 2010

When I was 18-years old I was having some not-typical pain as well as some other problems. After many visits to the doctor, many anti-biotics (as well as allergic reactions to a couple of them) and an ultrasound, I was told I would more than likely never be able to have children of my own.

Although I was only 18 and children weren't in my immediate plans, I mourned for about a week. I wanted someday to be a mother and that seemed to not be in the cards for me.

I started to become someone that I was not liking. I no longer cared about much of anything. There was more to it than finding out I would likely never have children, but that's when I really changed.

About 6 months after being told that I found out I was pregnant. I was in shock. It is no secret that Matt and I hadn't been dating very long when I got pregnant. I was worried about how he would react, but mostly I was in shock that I was pregnant. I was on birth control even!

That day I had to go to the doctor's office for a couple appointments. My car wasn't working so Matt dropped me off. At the one appointment they did some routine blood work. While I was at my other appointment they got the results back. I went to the doctor's (actually nurse practitioner) office rather than exam room to discuss things. That is when she let me know. I remember I started crying right away. She wasn't going to let me leave her office until she knew someone was there for me. At that point I looked out the window and saw Matt walking up to pick me up. I let her know that and she sent her nurse out to get him.

It confused Matt why they would call him back for an appointment with me. In his mind he was going through all the things that could be going on. When they came in the office he saw me crying. He later told me that he thought something major was wrong, like cancer (it makes me laugh that that is what jumped in his mind). The NP left the room so we could talk. I told him and he didn't really say anything. I think he said "Oh" or something like that. I finally told him to say something and all he said was "I love you." I had less of an internal freak out after that.

Leaving the doctor's office was all kind of a blur. I barely remember how I told anyone. I was still shocked.

When I was about 6.5-7 months pregnant something felt off. Although I had never been pregnant before I knew something was wrong. My doctor's kept telling me it was all in my head. When I was 35 weeks pregnant I blacked out while driving and totaled my car. Still the doctors didn't believe me that something was wrong.

So, I drove the 8-9 hours to Kansas the following week to go to my brother's wedding. I was in so much pain and miserable (but I'm glad I was at the wedding). I had people tell me they didn't recognize me with how swollen I was (I barely recognized myself!). Over the next week you could see my belly getting smaller and smaller.

When I went for my next appointment my blood pressure was finally high enough and there was enough protein in my urine for the doctors to be concerned. They finally believed it wasn't all in my head! I was ordered to go home immediately and was put on bed rest. I was also to do a 24-hour urine collection.

Well, I didn't exactly go straight home. I stopped by Matt's work to let him know that I was told the baby would more than likely be born sometime in the next few days. Then I went to work to give them my doctor's note, and then sat in my car crying and talk with Terri about it all. On my way home I called both my parents to let them know what I had found out.

I went home and laid on the couch with my feet up. I had a wonderful friend and her daughter come visit me for a while to keep me company. The next day (Friday the 8th) I went back to the doctor. My blood pressure was way up and the protein level was about 10,000 times what it should have been. While waiting for all the information I sent Matt back to work (he came to be with me on his lunch break) and told him I would just let him know what was going on when he got off work. About 5 minutes after he left my midwife came into the exam room and let me know they were admitting me immediately and would start to induce labor. By that time the next day my baby would be born one way or another. I had severe pre-eclampsia. Scary!

They got me in my room, had me change and then wanted to start my IV. OUCH! I do not do well with needles and I'm pretty sure anyone around would have thought I was delivering my baby right then. I screamed pretty loud. (I got stuck twice. The first one they tried to put in my vein rolled and they had to redo it. [The spot where the veined rolled still tingles from time to time still]) I remember shaking so much at that point. I was all alone and scared. The midwife told me to call Matt at work and tell him to come. I told her I would be fine. She didn't take no for an answer and ended up calling him herself. He came right away.

Magnesium sulfate is horrible! I hated the way it made me feel. But it was necessary to try to get my blood pressure down.

At 3 AM (I had been in the hospital for 12 hours at that point) I woke up and thought my catheter had come out, but it was my waters leaking. They had to go in and finish breaking my waters (which I didn't really feel at all). I was barely dilated (to maybe a 1). I had 12 hours before they would be wanting to do a c-section. I tried to sleep. At 8 AM a nurse came in to check me (they had been in multiple times in between too). I had progressed very little in those 5 hours. I was only dilated to a 3. I was a little frustrated. At the rate I seemed to be progressing I would never get to a 10 in time!

At about 9:15 (Saturday, July 9th) I felt a lot of pressure and thought I needed to get up to use the bathroom. My mom told me to stay down, that that was the baby. We called for the doctor and nurses. My dad and Rick were told to get out of the room. The doctor seemed to take FOREVER to get into the room. I don't think he believed this was it. G1 was born at 9:21 AM. He didn't cry right away. I didn't see him right away, but I was told he didn't look good. He did however pee on the nurse as she carried him from me to the warmer. When he finally cried you could hear everyone in the room breath a sigh of relief. I barely got to see him as they whisked him away to the nursery.

At that point I looked over at Matt and he didn't look good. I told him to sit down and gave him my ice chips. I was trying to not think about how things were going, the fact that I had no clue how my baby was doing. The doctor showed me the placenta. It didn't look good at all. I was more scared at that point than I had been at any point in the previous 48-ish hours.

At one point that day after delivery my blood pressure was 190/100. The nurses threatened to kick everyone out if my blood pressure stayed up. Not what I wanted, so I tried to stay as calm as possible. I was still on bed rest and not able to get up at all. Not even to see my baby. So, I sent Matt in to the nursery a ton of times. Finally the nursery sent a note back with him with the phone number to call them whenever I wanted. That didn't stop me from sending him multiple times. He was so good.

At about 9:20 the next morning (Sunday the 10th) a nurse came to get me and wheeled me in to see my baby. I was so happy. I was still on the mag sulfate and I couldn't see very well. But I got to hold my baby. I didn't get to be with him very long (nothing would have been long enough!) because my blood pressure couldn't take it and I was getting dizzy. After a few hours they took me off the mag sulfate and I was starting to get better.

I got released from the hospital on the 11th. It was the hardest thing ever to leave the hospital after having a baby with no baby to take with me. I was able to stay in a room at the hospital most nights so I could be with my baby as much as possible. The nurses were so good to me, so understanding. They made a hard time bearable. The next 13 days before I got to take him from the hospital were sooo long. But it helped ease me into becoming a mother and we made the best of a hard situation.

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I don't know what has had me thinking back through everything, but I realized I have never really "recorded" it all anywhere. I was going to type out my experience throughout my twin pregnancy, but decided not to at this time. Maybe another time?

People seem to think that when a young woman gets pregnant before marriage or when she is so young that she doesn't want or appreciate the baby as much as someone that is older and had been "trying" for said baby. I know that the way I did things is not ideal. I know I should have been older and married before starting a family. But I also know my baby was what really saved my life. My children are my world and although I get frustrated at times, each one of them is wanted and loved very much. I could not imagine life without a single one of them.